PTYL : LOKI / EPISODE 5.5: REMEMBER THIS MOMENT

welcome to episode 5.5.
remember this moment, for this is perhaps the most important episode of loki. for this episode i need no sound or image. just words.
let me begin by describing the disposition:

over the last 5 weeks i have released 5 episodes: "revolt", "fifth division indictment", "crackdown", "burden convictions" and "imploded reality". the previous episodes were interesting enough for you to raise your curiosity, and that is what brought you here now. you expected the 6th episode, the closure episode to be released on the 6th week, but i did not release it. instead i put a fund, where you are given the option to satisfy your curiosity by making a pledge (a minimum of 10 US dollars), and for which you will also get a CD for a lowered price. i asked for a total of 100 US dollars, and when that bar is reached, i will release the 6th episode. you know that the pledges are not cashed in if the total sum of pledges does not meet the bar by the deadline. you know there are now 70 bucks already secured on the fund, but you don't know who put it there. you know you want to get the 6th episode, but you cannot bring yourself to do what is promised to satisfy your curiosity.

now, consider the reasons why is that so?

1. "i hardly make ends meet. i can't throw away cash for nothing on all these internet things"
well, i am positive that by the end of this week you'll throw away 10 bucks on something you want less than to get episode 6, and the CD. i know this because you are here, reading this sentence. so it's not a question of how much money you make, but of what you consider worth spending on. and again. this is not just any internet thing for you. if it was you wouldn't still be here after 5 episodes. so this is not why.

2 "i want to save my 10 bucks to buy the plastic cd"
well, this will actually cost you less than purchasing the CD plastic version, so this is a no go regarding "why".

3.1 "why should i pay? let one of ptyl's fans pay"
well, as you can see from the poll and the fund, there really aren't any screaming teenage dumb ptyl fans out there. you already know this, you see it, so that's not the reason. and anyway, you'll be getting the CD for a lowered price, so just drop it.

3.2 "why should i pay and someone else will get it for free?"
well, that is not really the question, is it? you are not paying for the episode. you show your support in what i am doing, and for that you get the episode, and a CD. no one can take your support, and no one can take your plastic copy (at least not in a legal way). so MAYBE you don't want to support me, but you do want the episode. this is weird but possible. remember this option.

4.1. "i am an artist myself. i earned my right to get art for free"
possible. but you do know this is a double edged sword. outwards and inwards you radiate the idea that art is worthless in terms of money. remember that.

4.2 "art is a hobby. i will not pay for someone else's pleasure"
oooh...sad but possible. if so, realize that you believe everyone should hate their job, and it is so important to you that you deny your own pleasures, like the satisfaction of getting episode 6, just to make sure this will remain the case. you are what is known as "sadomasochistic". remember this. sad.

5.1 "i already did a lot to support the scene. i don't feel like i need to support you personally"
possible. still, you should consider what, when and where you chose to support it, as clearly, it does not matter cocerning this moment.

5.2 "i already did my share in supporting you ptyl. i don't feel like i need to support you any further"
possible, though scarce. well, first of all thank you. secondly, i don't know how to break this, but understand that i am not running on ego. you have supported me as a person, and for that i thank you. but to support an artist you have to pay him to keep on working, otherwise this artist will simply make less art. you must understand: time spent making art is time not spent making ends meet in the conventional fashion. and i think you know this, so think about it, and try to remember what this means regarding your support. considering the fact you know me by my art, why support me more as a person than as an artist? think about it: what is the differnce? remember this.

6. "leave me alone. all i wanted was to hear the music. i don't care about you or your fund"
very possible. probably didn't watch the videos either. remember this moment, your state of mind.

7 "ptyl's bluffing. in the end he'll crack and release the episode anyway, so why should i put a pledge?"
possible. but you still want the episode, otherwise you wouldn't be here. and you'd be getting the CD for a lowered price. so you want the people who make the things you like to crack and break. sad. remember this.

8. "WTF? this is the first time i hear about this project"
well, then go over the episodes, and then stand in line along with all the others.

9.1 "i don't like what you do. fuck your fund"
well, then WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU READING THIS FOR?
maybe you cannot admit to yourself that you like it.
now go try to figure out why

9.2 "ptyl is nothing. this loki project is just background noise. it's too unimportant to think about. i am indifferent"
nope. you are not. you are reading a text you would not have read if that was the case.

10. "i don't want ptyl to succeed. i have my reasons..."
well, we don't all have to get along. still you do follow my work. you don't want me to succeed but still you somehow like what i do. there is a word for that in english. it is called "envy". remember that.

11.1 "i'm your friend ptyl, you couldn't possibly mean me"
possible (though i'm not THAT friendly a guy). still remember this, how friends see each other as lesser than how they will see people who don't give a shit about them.

11.2 "i know you ptyl, you don't seriously mean me"
possible. mind this connection between knowing a person and how that translates in terms of respect, and what it takes to earn your respect.

...

whatever your reasons, capture this moment. remember what you feel right now. i am not judging you. i am not saying i am in any different.
no

so what is the purpose of all this?

hold that thought and take a step back

what is the purpose of this fund?
to make money? 100 bucks for 3 years of work? you gotta be kidding me.
no

the thing you feel, this thing you captured, this is how you look at the other. and by the uniformity of your choice, not to make a pledge, then know, this is how the other will look at you as well. if you were split in two, and you met yourself, you would have ignored yourself. you would have been indifferent to yourself.
you would not pledge for yourself.

all the time i'm hearing people saying how fucked the world is, how stupid people are, how arrogant lazy and shallow people are, and bla bla bla bla. everyone excludes themselves from the rule. well, loki has played his trick on you. now you are included in the rule. i can't judge you, for i am probably like you, but understand, there is no conflict between good people and bad people. everyone are normal, and that is why the consequences of loki are so imminent. this sad fate is not based on radical evil, but on normality.

so one way or another you will get your apocalypse. one way or another this reality will reach a threshold, the tidal wave, a closure if you like. and the trick loki pulled on you throughout this b.a.d.a.s.s proved one thing beyond all doubt. we are not prepared.

as for the 6th episode, i have still not really decided. if the fund will reach the 100 bar i will of course do as i promised, and if not then...donno. in any case don't see this fund as a way to redeem yourself. i am not a priest and you have not sinned before me. you just got to look yourself in the eye. what you make of it is what you make of it.

personally i have seen enough to know that in this reality, the reality described in the last 5 episodes, and the reality you have just affirmed with your inaction, there is no point in releasing more of my art i will create in the future into this reality.
not here
not now

NOTE:

the fund is here:

https://www.fundable.com/groupactions/groupaction.2008-03-24.9746065366/view?searchterm=ptyl.